


The Japanese National Team Reads Mean Tweets

by deadcliche



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 2021 olympics, Bi Hinata Shouyou, Coming Out, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay Kageyama Tobio, Humor, Inspired by Twitter, Insults, Japan National Team, M/M, Mean Tweets, Not Beta Read, Post-Time Skip, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, Twitter, a touch of internalized homophobia, barely edited, bokuaka is mentioned, honestly I wrote a bunch of mean tweets and then this mess came from it, i have no idea how to write a kansai accent, mentions of Kageyama/female OC, t for some language and very pg-13 allusions to sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27146083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadcliche/pseuds/deadcliche
Summary: As a part of their publicity campaign, the social media manager of the Japanese National Volleyball team decides to have the team read mean tweets. The public thinks a lot of things about the monster generation.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 14
Kudos: 469
Collections: Haikyuu Fanfiction Archive





	The Japanese National Team Reads Mean Tweets

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23289055) by [isaksara (syailendra)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/syailendra/pseuds/isaksara). 



> A dumpster fire fic for sure but I read 'The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets' by isaksara and wanted to write a mean Tweets version because I honestly love celebs reading mean tweets

“This doesn’t sound fun,” Hinata whined as the tech clipped the mic to his jersey. “I don’t understand why we have to read the mean things people say about us.”

“It’s a very popular bit on an American talk show. Celebrities read mean tweets. It’s good publicity, we’re trying to garner support for the team in the months before the Olympics. We picked the tweets, they’re all still funny.” Ishikawa, the social media manager, explained as she arranged them within the videoframe.

“It’ll be fun, Shou-kun,” Atsumu gave him a wink. “I’ll defend your honor.”

Kageyama bristled at Miya’s remarks. Watching the blond flirt with Hinata always made him feel vaguely nauseous; he had far more sympathy for first-year Hinata who was prone to bouts of vomiting before matches now than he ever had when they’d been in high school. He reminded himself that he was on track to be the starting setter for the Olympics, not Miya, and that soothed his resentment slightly, but not enough. Especially when Hinata beamed at his Black Jackals setter. While he and Hinata had both left Japan again, he for Italy and Hinata back to Brazil, Kageyama couldn’t shake the change in his feelings towards the orange haired spiker since their first match against each other since middle school. He’d been so deeply closeted in high school he’d been able to just ignore any non-platonmic feelings he’d had for his spiker, but it was no longer so easy. Watching the way Atsumu easily flirted with Hinata made him want nothing more than to grab the shorter man and kiss him while Atsumu watched. 

“Thanks, Sum-Sum.”

The nickname actually made Kageyama shudder.

Ishikawa had finished arranging them on the stools within the frame, Kageyama resented that Miya was placed between him and Hinata, and passed out their slips of paper. Apparently, they all had to read their own ‘mean tweets’ which seemed unnecessarily sadistic to Kageyama.

The cameras began recording and his teammates exchanged uncomfortable glances, none of them wanting to begin the uncomfortable exchange.

“Suppose I’ll start it off,” Miya said with a grin, and it was probably the first time Kageyama appreciated the setter’s ostentatious personality. Miya unfolded his tweet and read. “Does anyone have Atsumu’s address? Need to send him some fucking toner like, you’re an adult and a professional athlete, why is your hair still the same color as my piss when I forget to drink water all day.”

Bokuto laughed loudly and it broke the tension, several other players joining him. While Kageyama was very pleased Miya was being insulted, he stifled his chuckle, not wanting to encourage him in any way.

Miya frowned. “Firs’, yous got to be drinkin’ more water. But mi hair’s a funny story. ‘Case you didn’t know, I have an identical twin brother, but he’s not near as handsome as I am. ‘Fore we started high school, we both had the idea to change our look to help differentiate ‘tween us, but neither said anything to the other, all secret like. Samu was hoggin’ our bathroom so I used mi ma’s to bleach mi hair. Then we both went to the kitchen for some tea before the tonin’, and still had matching fuckin’ hair. I lost the game of rock-paper-scissors and he gotsta use the toner, n’ I was stuck with the yellow. But it just stuck with mi, ya know? Can’t imagine not havin’ poorly bleached n’ brassy hair.”

“I think it looks nice,” Hinata offered with a grin that made Kageyama frown.

“Course it looks nice, I’m handsome ‘nuff I could pull anything off,” Miya said with a wink towards Hinata. “Who’s next?”

“Me, me, meee!” Bokuto shouted. Kageyama wondered if it counted as shouting if that was his normal speaking voice. He unfurled his first slip of paper and read. “Why does Bokuto wake every morning and decide to style his hair so that he looks like he stuck a fork in an electrical socket??? Could not be me.”

Kageyama did laugh at that because truly, Bokuto’s hair was absurd. He’d heard from Hinata who’d heard from Kenma that it was actually impossible to get Kuroo’s hair to lay flat, but Bokuto filled his hair with product every morning and backcombed it to maintain that absurd look.

Bokuto frowned. While he was no longer as sensitive as he’d been in high school, he still didn’t take criticism well. “I’ll have you know, my husband Akaashi likes my hair just the way it is,” he grumbled.

“Tendo was also fond of the spiky hair look, before he cut it for culinary school,” Ushijima offered robotically. “I always felt it matched his personality. Yours suits you as well.”

“Thanks, Ushiwaka,” Bokuto grinned. “Aran, you go next!”

With a sigh, Aran read his tweet. “Aran has to live with knowing that Atsumu would drop him faster than week old onigiri if Osamu ever decided to come back to volleyball.” Aran looked at Miya, questioningly raising an eyebrow.

Miya snorted. “Maybe in the year ‘fter graduation they coulda been right, but Sumu’s soft from all his cookin’. Doubt he could even hit a quick, let alone hit it hard ‘nuff to matter. You’re safe, Oji-Oji.”

“Thanks?” Aran said halfheartedly.

“I want to go next!” Hoshiumi shouted, bouncing in his seat. “Hoshiumi is so creepy looking like I’m not sure he’s even human, he’s just this weird deranged gremlin creature. He is my sleep paralysis demon,” he read. “Well, you got one thing right. I’m clearly far better than humans. I’ve got the highest vertical on the whole team despite my height.” Hinata groaned because really, Hoshiumi only had him beat by a single centimeter. “And even if I’m your sleep paralysis demon, you’re still dreaming about me,” he said with a wink that reminded Kageyama of Miya, which of course made him cringe. “Your turn, Shou-kun! I bet my mean tweet is better than yours.”

“How is that even a competition,” Kageyama muttered. He’d been attempting to refrain from commenting as much as possible during this ridiculous endeavor, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Hinata Shouyou was definitely the kid that ate glue in primary. You could tell me he eats glue now and I wouldn’t bat a fucking eye,” Hinata’s voice was uncharacteristically soft as he read his own mean tweet. “Why would I eat glue? Iwaizumi would yell at me for eating something with no nutritional value.”

“Didja eat paste as a kid?”

Hinata shrugged, “I don’t think so. But it was always really fun to cover your hands in glue and then peel it off once it dried!”

“I used to do that too!” Of course Bokuto did.

“Same!” Hoshiumi added. “Maybe we should get some glue! I haven’t done that in years.” Hinata and Bokuto both nodded enthusiastically.

“And this is why none of you are allowed in my apartment,” Sakusa shuddered. “I guess I’ll go next. Sakusa is Hannibal Lector, straight up. That man has such strong serial killer energy. The germaphobe thing is just a cover so he can compulsively clean blood out of his apartment.”

Several people laughed at that, but none as loud as Atsumu.

Sakusa frowned. “We literally just went through a global pandemic and people still think my cleanliness is unnecessary? What are you, American? Besides, I don’t even eat meat. Haven’t for half a decade. If you’re going to compare me to a serial killer, a cannibal isn’t a good choice.”

“I don’ think the point of the tweet ista be accurate, Omi-omi.” Atsumi drawled. “They’re jus’ tryna insult ya.”

“All of my insults are incredibly accurate. It’s what makes them so hurtful. You should know that better than anyone, Miya.”

Perhaps Ushijima sensed that things were about to devolve between Atsumu and Sakusa, as they often did, because he spoke. “I will go next. If Ushijima was a spice, he’d be flour.” He blinked slowly, as if trying to understand what he’d read while his teammates snickered. “If you believe flour to be a spice, I am certain I would not enjoy your cooking.”

At that remark, Bokuto actually howled, bending over off his stool and slapping his thigh. They all watched as Bokuto struggled to regain his breath. “N-never change, Ushiwaka,” he gasped.

“I was not intending to. Who would like to go next?”

“Guess I can go,” Komori offered. “I know he’s a professional volleyball player and all but the only interesting thing about Komori is that he’s Sakusa’s cousin. Could not tell you a single thing about Komori other than the fact that he’s a libero with a hot cousin.”

“Komori-san is also super nice!” Hinata offered. “Though I guess that’s not an insult. But you should know that about him!” Hinata turned to face Kageyama. “Wasn’t he the only person you got along with at your first Youth Training Camp? And you have to be really nice to get along with Meany-yama.”

Kageyama grunted in response.

“I know this is supposed to be mean, but I’m perfectly content with people not knowing much about me,” Komori shrugged. “Let’s keep the libero chain going. Want to read yours, Yaku?”

“Might as well,” Yaku shrugged. “I can’t tell you why, but I am absolutely certain that Yaku was the kid who reminded teachers to assign and collect homework in school. So what you’re saying is that I seem like I was actually good at school and volleyball unlike the rest of these fools? Not much of an insult.”

“No, I’m pretty sure they’re saying you’re a kiss ass,” Komori offered.

“I’m just not a slacker,” Yaku defended.

“Anyway,” Hyakuzawa cut in, much like Ushijima had with Sakusa and Atsumu. “Here’s my tweet. Hyakuzawa is a textbook himbo. Does anyone know what a himbo is?”

There was nondescript grumbling before Miya offered an answer. “Himbo’s are like, big brawny dudes who are kinda stupid but nice, ‘specially to women. Jus’ big and nonthreatenin’. Like a dog.”

“That doesn’t seem like an insult at all. I’m definitely big, I respect women, and I’m the first to admit I’m not the brightest.”

“S’not really. Everyone luvs a himbo.”

“Maybe they’ll call me one too?” Gao sounded hopeful. “If Gao weren’t so tall, I’d forget he even existed. Well that’s a little boring.”

“Just be glad they didn’t compare you to a cannibal, Gao.” Sakusa offered.

Kageyama had avoided speaking as much as possible throughout the entire experience, but now he was the only person who still had to read his mean tweet, and he regretted not getting it over with sooner. The whole team was looking at him expectantly. He swallowed nervously before unfurling his slip of paper and reading, “Sometimes I feel bad that I’m not as good at anything as Kageyama is at volleyball but then I remember that I’m not a 24-year-old virgin and I immediately feel better about myself.” He willed his cheeks not to flush but still felt the characteristic warming in his face as several of his teammates began to laugh, Atsumu’s hyena-like chortle sticking out above the rest. He couldn’t bring himself to look up from his lap or say anything else.

“Sex is a lot easier than volleyball,” Hinata said matter-of-factly. He was always quick to jump to Tobio’s defense, even when he didn’t deserve it. He certainly hadn’t said anything about Hinata’s glue tweet.

With Hinata’s comment, the team devolved into a discussion on the difficulties of sex and volleyball, heralded by Miya, of course. Thankfully Ishiwaka ended the tape, muttering something about needing to edit out their inappropriate comments. Still, she addressed the team with a smile. “That went well, I’m sure we’ll get tons of views. Thank you.”

Kageyama immediately shot from his seat, eager to escape this entire experience. He couldn’t believe hundreds of thousands of people, if Ishiwaka’s prediction on the scope of the video was correct, would watch him get flustered and refuse to speak after being called a virgin. It’s not like defending himself would have made it any better, either way everyone was going to assume that the tweet was right. And it wasn’t. He was still probably the least sexually experienced on the team, you didn’t get to the Olympics at 19 while maintaining an active sex life, but he’d had sex before. Twice. But that meant he wasn’t a virgin. Just because Miya would fuck anyone didn’t mean he had to.

But still, Hinata’s comment rang in his mind. Sex is easier than volleyball. To Kageyama it was the opposite. The mechanics of sex were easy enough and far simpler than volleyball, but getting to that point? Kageyama would prefer to receive 100 of Oikawa’s serves than suffer through the small talk and flirtation required to get someone in bed. Even the dating apps Miya frequented were stressful. He knew Hinata had changed in Brazil; his first match with the Jackals against the Adlers had more than proven that. But Kageyama was slowly realizing Hinata had gained more than volleyball experience in his time abroad and it made him decidedly uncomfortable. Hinata had always been chasing him, and he’d finally caught up on the world stage. Had he really so far surpassed Kageyama in this area?

“Hey.” Of course he was here. He was always right here. Throughout high school he’d never been able to shake Hinata, even when he desperately wanted to be alone. Kageyama didn’t even turn to face him, not wanting to give him a response. “That really wasn’t fair, you know? I mean, I didn’t like the idea at all, but people say far meaner things about me on Twitter than the tweet they had me read. Everyone else’s was kind of funny, but yours was just mean. I mean Ushiwaka and the flour? Hilarious. I’m sorry Ishiwaka and the rest of the publicity team did that to you. Did you do something to her, or something?” 

“Well…” Maybe Ishikawa did have a reason to hate him. Still, he didn’t imagine her holding a grudge for this long. It was nearly five years ago. 

“Of course you did, Bakageyama. What, did you call her dumbass?” 

“No.” 

“Did you run into her while sprinting to the gym or something? What did you do to her?” 

“She was an intern in Brazil, all right? After the France game, when I hit all those service aces we were celebrating and I kind of slept with her. And then told her I was gay afterward.” 

“You’re gay?” 

Kageyama just nodded, still avoiding Hinata’s gaze. 

“And you never told me? I’m supposed to be your best friend, Secretyama. And why’d you have sex with her if you’re gay?” 

“I wasn’t sure, Boke! I-I didn’t want to be. I tried to pretend I wasn’t but then I slept with her and it was just so strange and I couldn’t lie to myself anymore.” 

“Tobio,” Hinata’s voice softened and as he so rarely used the setter’s first name, Kageyama was forced to look at him. Hinata’s eyes were soft and kind, but he still felt sick with anxiety. He’d never really told anyone because he was so afraid of their reactions. Granted Ishikawa’s anger was justified, but she was the first person he’d ever come out to, and her reaction had terrified him. “I’m glad you told me now. You could’ve told me whenever, but I understand being scared to share that. And I suppose I’m being hypocritical, given I never actually told you I was queer.” 

“You’re…” 

“Bi, yeah. Though I mostly date men, you know? But girls are like, really, really pretty. But also like, boys are bwahh. And non-binary people too are just like, huwahh. Basically everyone is hot.” Hinata says with a shrug. “What you did to Ishikawa wasn’t exactly nice, but understandable given what you were dealing with. And it was years ago, she should be over it by now. And picking that tweet was really, really mean. She just started a conversation about your sex life knowing you’re in the closet. That’s like, adjacent to outing someone, which is obviously not cool.”

“T-thanks, Hinata.” Tobio stammered. “For everything you just said and for trying to stick up for me during the video.” 

“I was really nervous about this whole thing, you know? My tweet was kinda silly, but people have said some really mean things about me on Twitter. When I first joined the Black Jackals I was like, really obsessive about reading the comments. I had fans in Brazil for beach, but for everyone in Japan it seemed like I came out of nowhere, you know? And before anyone had seen me play I was just this random short guy suddenly on a Div1 V.League team. There was a lot of time spent hypothesizing who I’d bribed or slept with to get the spot. It died down after the Adlers’ match and Atsumu yelled at me and blocked a lot of accounts on my Twitter page so I wouldn’t see them anymore, but I was really nervous about the whole thing.” 

Kageyama was not active on social media. He had accounts, of course, but he only posted whatever his team social media manager told him he had to post. He’d never realized mean Tweets were even a thing. “People are going to talk about this, aren’t they?” 

“Probably. But you don’t have to say anything. It’ll die down after awhile no matter what.” 

“I’m not out to anyone. Ishiwaka and that one guy I slept with are probably the only people that know for sure. What if he says something?” 

“I doubt it’ll be that big of a deal. I mean, I’m mostly out, but not like, social media out. When it comes up I don’t deny it or anything, and everyone on the Black Jackals knew, but it’s never been a big deal. I’ve never been asked in an interview or anything. Just because Atsumu plasters pictures of himself at pride on all his accounts doesn’t mean that we have to. If you’re really worried, I bet we could bully Ishiwaka into not posting the video. The tweet she chose for you seems like a personal vendetta, I doubt management would be happy with it.” 

“I don’t want to get her in trouble.” And he really didn’t. The more Hinata spoke, the more he realized she’d been wrong to pick that tweet for him, but he had been wrong to involve someone he worked with in his whole closeted nightmare. 

“Then you’ll just have to weather the storm. It’ll die down quickly, and you’re not even really on social media. Just avoid it. No one claims I blew my way into professional volleyball anymore.” 

“They really said that?” Even in high school when his technique was lacking, everyone admitted that his speed and jump height hard earned his way onto the court. 

“People are really fucking mean.” Hinata said with a shrug. 

“What if… What if I want to be out? What if there’s someone I care about. Someone I like. Someone who I don’t want to think doesn’t matter to me enough to be public with. If they were interested.” 

Hinata blinked slowly. “I’m not sure I’m the right person to ask about that. I haven’t confirmed anything on social media or in interviews, you know? Bokuto is the one married to Akaashi. And Sumu kind of loves the publicity so he doesn’t hide the fact that he sleeps around, both with men and women. Is that something this person wants?” 

“I-I don’t know.” Brazil had made him wise. Grounded. Far less likely to jump headfirst without thinking, both in life and in volleyball. 

“Well, you should ask them. I understand the sentiment, but if you’re doing it for a person, you should make sure it’s something that they’d want.” 

“I think I like you,” Kageyama blurted out. He’d never been good at thinking before he spoke; it was why everyone thought he was such an asshole. But still, this went beyond. He couldn’t believe he’d actually said that. 

“I always liked you,” Hinata said softly. “Well, maybe not always, but at least from second year.” 

The rest of the team had long since passed them in the hallway. It was surprising none of them had interrupted the conversation, but Kageyama appreciated that there was no one around to observe the exchange as he stepped closer to Hinata. Hinata had grown since high school, but Kageyama had ass well, and the spiker still only reached his chin. With uncharacteristically timid actions, he reached forward, his hand settling gently at Hinata’s chin, tipping it upward slightly. Hinata made no move to shove him off, so he leaned down, pressing his lips to Hinata’s. It was soft and sweet and infinitely better than Kageyama had ever imagined it would be. 

When they broke apart, Hinata was beaming. “You don’t have to come out for me, Kageyama. But if you wanted to, we could do it together.”

**Author's Note:**

> So there it is! Been consuming nothing but Haikyuu content for months so I figured it was time to write something, even if it's shitty. I promise the next thing I write will be less of a dumpster fire lol


End file.
